We returned from Jackets for Jesus to find a man sleeping at Central Community. It’s not that unusual.

But I know this man. He sleeps around the grounds, uses our sidewalks to relieve himself, then leaves money. Sometimes it’s change, other times cash, always something. When I’ve caught him in the act – never pleasant – he goes into a rant and tells me he pays his way, before storming off.

Not much of a talker. Mental health issues that keep him apart from society. Tonight he was sleeping against the door, beneath a light, across from our big refrigerator, half covered in a blanket, mouth open, drooling, hands under his face, fully dressed but his skinny bottom sticking out for the whole world to see.

Started to take a picture… but my back hurt… and I wondered about his back… I wanted to go home… and I thought about how many years it’s been since I’ve seen this guy sleeping around our grounds, homeless… I knew I needed to take the medication the Doctor had prescribed for me… couldn’t help but think about how quickly sickness would take him…

I walked to my car – down jacket on the seat waiting – turned and snapped this shot from a distance… of simply his feet… he sleeps with his shoes on… didn’t even check to see if he had socks.

We’d just received a donation of thousands of socks. So many that Evelyn, Ron and Patti were loading their cars with socks to share with their local shelters…

This man slept on our campus again. Fully dressed under a filthy blanket. Debi or Ken will probably clean up after him this week.

I know I should’ve made him leave but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Neither could I bring myself to wake him and offer to bring him home – like I said, I know this guy – not someone you want to bring home, unless you’re fully equipped to handle whatever it is that’s happening in his head.

We had a woman like that in line tonight. People were calling her “demon possessed.”

Doubtful.

I reminded those around her to show grace. She received food to eat and she wandered into the night with just a t-shirt, thin pants and bare feet.

We’ve seen her with much less. Pretty much everyone on skidrow has seen her with much less on… and she was crying out insane things… everyone showed grace.

So I got in my car, drove to my comfortable home, cozy bed waiting and I’m feeling so much better and somehow felt that by not taking his picture, calling the police or chasing him off, I was showing grace.

I’m not so sure.

Serving in the heart of darkness, in one of the harshest communities of poverty in our nation, even after 33 years – my heart breaks – and it seems like there should be more a pastor; well trained, educated and now experienced should know what to do – other than just leave someone on the concrete, in the cold.

But I don’t have a bigger or better answer… and I know what’s going to happen. Before daylight he’ll be gone. He’ll leave whatever money he has in his pocket in front of that door and very possibly whatever he has in his body on our campus somewhere.

He’s been doing it for years.

Arguing, reasoning, threatening, feeding, kindness… none of it has seemed to change his habits – he comes and goes in the darkness and I left him tonight not one hundred percent certain what to do but unwilling to even take his picture – much less send him away.

The most common prayer I say each Monday morning as I lay my head on the pillow and pull the blankets up over my shoulder and prepare to sleep in comfort is a simple “Thank you.”

It so easily could’ve been me sleeping against a strange door, leaving change to pay my way, fighting the battle of those who struggle to hold on to some semblance of mental clarity as their mind slips away and no one seems to take notice…

Not even the preacher, with a background in psychology and decades serving the homeless, knows what to do… how will all of society find her way through the challenges of those who sleep on our streets?

It should keep us awake sometimes – not just to pray “thank you” – as if we’re somehow better or more blessed than the one struggling to find their way home but it should keep us all awake until we come up with a loving and compassionate solution.

These are our children, brothers, sisters, parents… we’re connected and while one of us is outside – for whatever reason – maybe none of us should sleep so easily